Me. Me me me. This is the theme of month. And you know what, I'm enjoying the hell out of it so far. Or should I say, I'm enjoying the hell out of me so far. I'm awesome, like, really awesome. I'm an amazing thinker, I have pretty good skin, and my napping skills are unparalleled. I'm just the the shit to be quite honest.
I know this sounds braggy, but you have to understand, for the past 23 years I've pretty much operated outside of me. At various points in my life I've been everything, everyone, but me. At home I'm Kevin Michael or 'Kev-Loc' (a nickname given to me by the nicknamer in the family, my oldest sis, so shutup). At work, I'm Kev or KJ (there's another Kevin who I work with but he wasn't cool enough for a nickname). I've been an uncle, a student, a boyfriend. Hell, I've even served as a walking human tissue, soaking up the tears, germs, and God knows what else 1st and 2nd graders carry. All these titles. All these roles, have allowed me great opportunities, and taught me valuable lessons, which I'll always hold on to. However, as I hurdle towards 24 (whew) I realize that I haven't spent that much time just being me. Kevin. Kevin Michael Hendricks, Jr., to be exact.
I mean think about it. Think about all the roles we play. Student. Worker. Friend. Human tissue. Roles that become such a natural part of our life. Roles that we become so wrapped up in, that suddenly you look up and you're 18. 21. 25. 30. 36. 40, and so on. We become so used to being and doing all of these things, that once we get a chance to catch our breath, another year has come and gone, and we're left scratching our heads wondering where the time went, or when did we get so old, or what all these new terms mean ( I refuse to accept "bae" as a term of endearment. Re. Fuse).
So, with some the most recent turn of events in my life, coupled with the fact my teen years are far behind me, I've entered into this new space, where I'm now, finally, operating more in my 'ME-ness'. After years of neglect, and a super shitty "breakup," I felt it was high time to crack open the book and take some actual time to figure, What type of person am I? What type of person do I want to be? Where am I going in life? Am I happy with where I am in life? Why can't get I get a six pack? Why do I spend so much money on food? Why is food so good? What am I eating for lunch? What am I eating for dinner? Damn, now I'm hungry. What should I eat as a snack while I figure out what to eat for lunch and dinner?
These are the questions I've started to ask myself. These, along with a slew of other things, are the avenues I've started to explore, and I have to admit, the discoveries have definitely been eye-opening. There were some hard truths I've had to face, and more than a few inner demons that I've had to conquer. But, the end results are a Kevin that is more grounded, confident, spiritual, and generally more positive, and relaxed.
There are still parts of myself that I've yet to discover, and that's OK. I have no real rush. I'm just excited to go on this journey and give myself the loving it deserves.